The wind that night was neither soothing
nor violent. It was just wandering restlessly. The deserted beach was soaked in
moonlight and, strangely, nothing that it lit appealed to her. As she sat alone on
the white sand, the rolling waves immersed her in a sea of memories. The days
of their togetherness kept on flashing before her, some of which choked her
while some made her smile. Even after five long years, his touch still lingered
on her soul. They had believed that they were inseparable; their vows were true
and their love everlasting.
Their relationship had just started to
blossom when his dream to pursue a career in the film industry unveiled its
fragile core. Everything changed soon after he began his struggle in the industry and all she
began encountering was his unpredictable schedules, his on-screen intimacies,
his disturbed moods and his obsession for stardom. The changed dynamics of
their relationship disturbed her to the core and their conflicts began taking
an ugly and sickening shape. Neither of them wanted him to give up on his
dreams and to restore peace in life they decided to part. Of all the promises
they had made in love, only one stood out through years. At least on her part,
she thought.
While
parting, a flickering hope lived in both the hearts for which they had promised
to meet after five years, on the very day which marked the beginning of their
relationship and at the very place which nurtured some of their best moments,
if their hearts would still harbor the love which once embraced them closer
than life.
Her life had changed and so did his. He was
a star and appeared every now and then on theater screens, television and big
hoardings. Half of the country was crazy about him and was ready to do anything
to get a glimpse or an autograph of the star. Suddenly, she felt stupid
to be waiting for him. She thought how silly it was to expect a star to
remember someone who was his beloved once but vanished from his life for five
long years. The distant lighthouse which once witnessed their togetherness
appeared blind to the only promise which brought her there that night. She felt
it was loathing her with a notion that his stardom lured her there.
Restless as she got up and turned to leave,
his relaxed persona standing right behind startled her. He was there, since
when, she did not know. He smiled at her, an indifferent smile which made her
rather uncomfortable. He took a few steps and sat beside her with an uncanny
ease as if he was there to attend a casual meeting. She followed suit, trying
to compose herself.
He began “I was expecting you.”
Once again she felt loathed and replied “I
was not. You are a busy man after all.”
He agreed and continued the conversation,
adorning it carefully with sarcasms, some of which she returned. Their
conversation was interspersed with long awkward silences which both of them
were trying hard to fill, in vain.
“I thought you would be married by now,” he guessed.
“I am,” she replied with a smile and quickly
took off her ring from her finger to hold it tight in her fist. His eyes
followed her action to which she responded “you reminded me that my wedding ring
is new and a bit loose and I don’t want to lose it to this night.”
He laughed and said “In ways you are still
the same stupid girl whom I loved once.”
His remark somehow eased their awkwardness
and words began flowing easily. He told her about his busy life and she shared
about her work which kept her engaged through years.
“Are you seeing someone?” she asked.
“Media covered two of my serious affairs
and you still ask that!” he responded with a smile.
“I don’t trust them. I want you to tell
me,” she replied firmly.
“But once they were more trustworthy to you
than me, when you didn't feel the need of asking me without any preconceived
notions.” He paused for a moment to spot guilt in her eyes and succeeded.
“Yes I am not only seeing someone but also planning to get engaged soon. She is
a darling and is waiting for me at my home knowing that I am here to meet my
ex-girlfriend. And just like you even I am determined not to lose her to this
night.”
She felt a stabbing pain and she knew that
her eyes were failing to hide her emotions.
“Only if I had not to wait for days to talk
to you or meet you, only if I was not a constant victim of your resentments
which arose from your struggles and only if you had stopped me once from
leaving, our lives would have been different,” she said while her voice
trembled.
“All I needed was support and motivation
for venturing into an uncertain world, which unexpectedly you too couldn't
provide,” his grudge was prominent in his voice.
“My dreams hazed out before yours. Though
it wasn't as big as yours, it still existed. I wish you had a little time to
hear me out when I so wanted to discuss my career plans with you,” her eyes
welled up while saying.
“Glamour world isn't easy; it devours you
before you know,” he declared plainly.
Once again silence deluged them and he lied
down over the sand. She kept watching the rolling waves and he, the radiant
moon, for long. His phone rang and he told someone over the phone that he would
be back in an hour. Her heart sank but he went back to his thoughts. He got up
after sometime and looked at her.
“I must go. She is waiting for me” he said
in a tone that lacked emotions.
“Sure,” she said with a smile and hugged
him for the last time. She felt that his hug on her tightened with each passing
second and it stayed much longer than she expected.
When he was gone, she walked a few steps
towards the sea. She opened her fist and placed her ring on the shimmering
sand. A wave rolled in and took away her most prized possession which he once
gifted with all his love and which, for five years, gave her the hope that
their love still lives somewhere, beneath the complexities of life. She looked
at the lighthouse and wondered if it pitied her loneliness. Stepping out of the
car felt like a tough job for him when he returned home. He dragged himself to
his bedroom where waiting for him was a bottle of scotch. He looked at it and
wondered if it pitied his loneliness.
Both the lighthouse and the scotch bottle
perhaps pitied that none of them confessed, even for once, what exactly had brought
them there that night!
